Divorced by some 10 years, here's my beef still:
Her maiden name is Johnson, but the last name on her drivers license was Masera - which was her previously married name before her and I were married, you follow so far?
For some reason she preferred to keep her old married last name - Masera, over her new married last name - Groess, or even her maiden name – Johnson. She always said something about, "Masera sounding cooler," but it never made sense to me - and I'd bet from a Diddle Eyed Joe to a Damned if I know that it still says Masera right now.
So, for the three scandalous years we dated, plus the two embarrassing years we were married, the name on her driver’s license remained her old married last name - Masera. Ugh.
Maybe, after her first divorce, if she would have at least changed her last name back to Johnson, I wouldn't have always thought she was holding on to him. There's nothing wrong with wanting a cool sounding last name, except, when it isn't that cool - or her last name anymore. There was no reason to refuse changing it – no kids, no professional identity, and certainly no more marriage, ha. Dating, I didn't pay any mind to it okay I did but I didn't let it get to me because we weren't married and I assumed she'd changed it after we were married, but, married, it always rubbed me wrong that she said she would change it while having no intention of taking my last name.
Obviously you’ll have to take my word on this.
Maybe this is no big deal. Maybe I'm being a baby about it.
Nah, that ain't it.
Refusing to change her last name from the old, diseased first marriage to a cooler, better looking, younger, darker skinned, medium built and newer last name would have been easier for me to handle if there were some anthem behind it like if she were trying to distance herself from her immediate family, BING - there's an idea - or if she were some type of million dollar Sales Exec hold your laughter who had million dollar customers that only knew her by Masera and to change that name would disrupt her million dollar career just enough to potentially lose millions of dollars in business, which is to lose salary, which is to lose standard of living, which is to lose lifestyle and if I remember correctly, which I’m pretty damn sure I do, none of those scenarios were a reality - so refusing to change last names sends the message that there’s something else. Possibly something else still stirring? Did you follow that last paragraph? Go ahead, read it again.
And again, you’ll have to take my word on this.
I was mistaken for Mr. Masera for almost two years. Identity dead, right? Maybe, maybe not. During my run as Mr. Masera I took the beating of my life and was put in a coma that I'd gladly lie in for almost two years. But when I woke up, ...I had what we problem drinkers call, A Moment of Clarity. I had a moment that slapped me in the face and woke me the hell up.
None of the coma stuff is literal, of course, I was never in a coma but I did have a moment of clarity when her sister's husband and I ended up throwing each other against the garage walls and someone
body-slamming someone else onto the hood of a car denting the hood for life and causing sister's husband to miss an entire week of work. But prior to that, as Mr. and Mrs. Masera, and not Mr. and Mrs. Groess, I decided the best course of action, till I get my bearings, was to play possum.
...you know, eleven years ago, when we lived together in the Hollywood suburb of Burbank, Ca, and I sang, "Your Song" from the movie Moulin Rouge, into your ear right before that waitress brought us dinner and you cried and kissed me - if I had to make a list of impossible things that could never happen - You performing a coup-de-grace on my feelings by getting pregnant by some other guy - while married to me - would be right at the top of the list. I'd've been wrong, wouldn't I?
Her maiden name is Johnson, but the last name on her drivers license was Masera - which was her previously married name before her and I were married, you follow so far?
For some reason she preferred to keep her old married last name - Masera, over her new married last name - Groess, or even her maiden name – Johnson. She always said something about, "Masera sounding cooler," but it never made sense to me - and I'd bet from a Diddle Eyed Joe to a Damned if I know that it still says Masera right now.
So, for the three scandalous years we dated, plus the two embarrassing years we were married, the name on her driver’s license remained her old married last name - Masera. Ugh.
Maybe, after her first divorce, if she would have at least changed her last name back to Johnson, I wouldn't have always thought she was holding on to him. There's nothing wrong with wanting a cool sounding last name, except, when it isn't that cool - or her last name anymore. There was no reason to refuse changing it – no kids, no professional identity, and certainly no more marriage, ha. Dating, I didn't pay any mind to it okay I did but I didn't let it get to me because we weren't married and I assumed she'd changed it after we were married, but, married, it always rubbed me wrong that she said she would change it while having no intention of taking my last name.
Obviously you’ll have to take my word on this.
Maybe this is no big deal. Maybe I'm being a baby about it.
Nah, that ain't it.
Refusing to change her last name from the old, diseased first marriage to a cooler, better looking, younger, darker skinned, medium built and newer last name would have been easier for me to handle if there were some anthem behind it like if she were trying to distance herself from her immediate family, BING - there's an idea - or if she were some type of million dollar Sales Exec hold your laughter who had million dollar customers that only knew her by Masera and to change that name would disrupt her million dollar career just enough to potentially lose millions of dollars in business, which is to lose salary, which is to lose standard of living, which is to lose lifestyle and if I remember correctly, which I’m pretty damn sure I do, none of those scenarios were a reality - so refusing to change last names sends the message that there’s something else. Possibly something else still stirring? Did you follow that last paragraph? Go ahead, read it again.
And again, you’ll have to take my word on this.
I was mistaken for Mr. Masera for almost two years. Identity dead, right? Maybe, maybe not. During my run as Mr. Masera I took the beating of my life and was put in a coma that I'd gladly lie in for almost two years. But when I woke up, ...I had what we problem drinkers call, A Moment of Clarity. I had a moment that slapped me in the face and woke me the hell up.
None of the coma stuff is literal, of course, I was never in a coma but I did have a moment of clarity when her sister's husband and I ended up throwing each other against the garage walls and someone
body-slamming someone else onto the hood of a car denting the hood for life and causing sister's husband to miss an entire week of work. But prior to that, as Mr. and Mrs. Masera, and not Mr. and Mrs. Groess, I decided the best course of action, till I get my bearings, was to play possum.
...you know, eleven years ago, when we lived together in the Hollywood suburb of Burbank, Ca, and I sang, "Your Song" from the movie Moulin Rouge, into your ear right before that waitress brought us dinner and you cried and kissed me - if I had to make a list of impossible things that could never happen - You performing a coup-de-grace on my feelings by getting pregnant by some other guy - while married to me - would be right at the top of the list. I'd've been wrong, wouldn't I?
There are consequences to choices like that.
